Q:
How does one practice thinking about what he says before he says it?
A:
I’ll tell you one eitzah. Practice up! When you walk out of here think, “I’m going to see somebody soon and before I say anything to him, I’m going to think about whether to say it or not.” Now, the first decision you should make is that you shouldn’t say anything. That’s the best decision. The Rambam says that; he says that the first thing is to make up your mind that you won’t say anything.
Now, let’s say that you have to say something – so the Rambam says that you should say it as briefly as you can. Count your words! That’s already two things, two eitzos.
Let’s say a man is coming towards you. So you think, “Oh, it’s a fine opportunity now! He’s coming towards me. He wants to talk to me so I’m going to make up my mind now that I won’t answer one word. I won’t say one word. If I have to answer him, I’ll nod. I’ll say only one word at most.”
Or you go to a chasunah; some people walk around the chasunah talking to everybody. Make up your mind you won’t go around talking. You say “Mazal tov,” that’s all. Mazal tov, mazal tov, mazal tov. Don’t stop to talk to anybody. If they stop to talk to you, listen politely but don’t say one word! That’s how to practice up.
When your wife says something to you, say, “You’re right. Yes, yes.” That’s all. Tell your wife she’s right; “Yes, yes” and that’s all. And it will be a big benefit for both of you.
Certainly you can practice up. It’s a very important system. Just don’t open your mouth at all, and if you must open your mouth, then make it as short as possible.
TAPE # E-123